In Memory Of

When losing a loved one, one wants to pay tribute in the best way. Sometimes, funerals and cremations can feel impersonal. Sadness and loss is an inevitable part of the proceedings but family and friends also want to celebrate the life of the departed. Popular songs are requested at services or a particular passage of poetry. Such things that reflect the personality and interests of the loved one serve in memory of him or her.

Books of Remembrance are another way of expressing one's feelings. These tend to be for well known figures or people of standing in the local community. Gatherings after the funeral are in line with the culture of the location. The Irish wake focuses on remembering positive aspects of the departed and people are invited to individually contribute something in memory of the relative or friend. This can be in the form of a story, song or poem.

Gravestones are another means of expression. Some have verses from poems or biblical passages. They may contain a family saying o r motto. In some cultures, photographs of the departed are displayed. Keepsakes are sometimes left at the graveside in memory of the dead. This can be particularly poignant in the case of children, whose prized teddy bear or toy is left.

Memorials are an opportunity for more people to pay their respects. The funeral service may be a private affair, for family members only, but others can participate in memory of a public person at a memorial service. Other, more permanent and tangible memorials can be established. Park benches in memory of and engraved with the name of the departed, are very popular. These are especially appreciated when the seat is placed in a place that was meaningful to the person gone.

There is also a tradition amongst rural communities to erect a cairn at the top of a hill, in memory of a loved one. This is even more appropriate for those people who had enjoyed walking or climbing in the area. The cairn can be positioned where the person had often enjoyed the view. More unusual requests sometimes occur. Many goalmouths on soccer grounds in the UK are the destination for final remains. Fans of a particular club leave instructions for their ashes to be spread around the area. Some people like their ashes to be spread at sea. Whatever the location, fulfilling last requests is an affirming thing to do and can give peace of mind to those left behind.

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